and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
