I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
