sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
