if you like me you must not know who I am
I want to walk on stilts...naked
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just high enough for therapy.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
