did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
