miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
