How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
