Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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