I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
