just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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