There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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