His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
