kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
