SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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