Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
