I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
