That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
