dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize