i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
