party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
