I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
