You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
