Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
