Cold hands, warm shart.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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