I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
