Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
