I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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