naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
