i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
