Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.

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(616): View more from Michigan

The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks

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(518): View more from New York

i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.

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(562): View more from California

Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....

(949): View more from California

Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop

(213): View more from California

so that means christmas in space?

(781): View more from Massachusetts

imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi

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(512): View more from Texas

While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.

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(727): View more from Florida

We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.

(727): View more from Florida

Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.

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