Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
