I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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