Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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