I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
