Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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