Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
