just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Drake has all the answers
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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