I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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