I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
