and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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