you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
