idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
