In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
