So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The uberlube is also flammable
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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