Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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