so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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