I think im going to throw up on grandma
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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