I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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