my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize