a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you would pick up someone in the library
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
