So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
