do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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