road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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