I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
