on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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