That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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