Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
