East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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