Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
