We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
