you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
