Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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