girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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