This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
