You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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