we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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