My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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