Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
